Think real newspaper news is dead?

   It’s had its “moments” for some time.

   A retirement magazine¹ published the best headlines of the year in 2003:

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   (1) “Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers².”

   (2)  “Iraqi head seek arms.”

   (3)  “Teacher strikes idle kids.”

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For 14 more use the DOOR.

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   [MORE]

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   (4)  “Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say.”

   (5)  “Drunks get nine months in violin case.”

   (6)  “Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?”

   (7)  “Panda mating fails; veterinarian takes over.”

   (8)  “Clinton wins budget; more lies ahead.”

   (9)  “Plane too close to ground, crash probe told.”

  (10)  “Miners refuse to work after death.”

  (11)  “Juvenile Court to try shooting defendant.”

  (12)  “Stolen painting found by tree.”

  (13)  “If strike isn’t settled soon, it may last a while.”

  (14)  “Couple slain; police suspect homicide.”

  (15)  “Man struck by lightning faces battery charge.”

  (16)  “New study of obesity looks for larger test group.”

  (17)  “Astronaut takes blame for gas in space.”

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   Some family fun around the dinner table³? Depending on age of diners, you can have fun asking about, showing, and explaining the humor here…and learning about how words go together. Some people still eat dinner around the table–at least now and then–by the way.

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    ¹ We’re unsure which one. But we just couldn’t throw this out without sharing it and showing once again that occasionally we have a sense of humor.

    ² The men in blue haven’t just begun to have problems. And, for the record, we support them heartily 99%.

    ³ Old-fashioned we are, not just “were.” (Again, footnotes here for a sense of dignity.)