Listen to George Will¹, not just for the content, but for the devices he uses. We’ll color certain things (but the italics are his). If you can make to the end of the paragraph, there’s more through the DOOR.

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   “In physics, a unified field theory is an attempt to explain with a single hypothesis the behavior or several fields. Its political corollary is the Cupcake Postulate, which explains everything, from Missouri to Iraq, concerning Americans’ comprehensive withdrawal of confidence from government at all levels and all areas of activity.”

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[Now the DOOR.]

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[MORE]

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   Will is delightfully frisky with words and ideas which sometimes, not always, work well and excite the imagination. Above, he takes a cutting-edge idea from physics and twists and turns until he creates what he wants to discuss in the current whirlwind of news coming from everywhere. In two sentences he has touched upon (1) UFT, (2) making one hypothesis that explains everything, (3) a “corollary” (a math term) an alleged spin-off to current politics, (4) the (current) Missouri protests of a policeman shooting a black, (5) the (forever) mess in Iraq, and (6) the general losing of confidence of Americans in government “at all levels.

   Ahead in the next paragraph will come (7) “the menace of school bake sales, (8) “progressivism’s ratchet” (from a carpenter’s toolbox), (9) government lunch subsidies, (10) the evaluation of “competitive foods,” (11) vending machine snacks, (12) the “bake sale loophole, (13) fund-raising, and (14) federal standards. Don’t choke…here’s that paragraph:

   “Washington’s response to the menace of school bake sales illustrates progressivism’s ratchet: The federal government subsidizes school lunches, so it must control the lunches’ contents, which validates regulation of what it calls “competitive foods,” such as vending room snacks. Hence the need to close the bake sale loophole: Foods sold at fund-raising bake sales must, with some exceptions, conform to federal standards.”

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   On the clever, logical article almost tiptoes into monotony. We’ll skip the the middle–remember we’re looking  at the way things are said, not content, and we’ll leave off the color this time, but note in the end Will serves up cupcakes one more time. Here are the last two paragraphs:

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   “Contempt for government cannot be hermetically sealed; it seeps into everything. Which is why cupcake regulations have foreign policy consequences. Americans, inundated with evidence that government is becoming dumber and more presumptuous, think it cannot be trusted to decipher foreign problems and apply force intelligently.

   “The collapse of confidence in government is not primarily because many conspicuous leaders are conspicuously dimwitted, although when Joe Biden refers to “the nation of Africa,” or Harry Reid disparages the Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby decision as rendered by “five white men” (who included Clarence Thomas), Americans understand that their increasingly ludicrous government lacks adult supervision. What they might not understand is that Reids and Bidens come with government so bereft of restraint and so disoriented by delusions of grandeur that it gives fighting knives to police and grief to purveyors of noncompliant cupcakes.”

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   ¹ George Will writes for The Washington Post. His comments in this column appeared in the Scranton Times-Trib. on Aug. 21, 2014.